Thursday, 6 May 2010

Vote LOCAL today in Royston Vassey

Its time for Royston Vasey to have its first Lib Dumb MP.

I've read though the Cowley street manual on dirty politics and I think I have it all covered.

  1. Accuse opponents of not being local. CHECK - like I needed to be told that !
  2. Make unsubstantiated wild claims about opponents in literature - like this discredited council or local residents are demanding that. It can never be proven your just making it up and many voters will be taken in thinking you'd never write so blatant a lie if it wasn't true. CHECK.
  3. Don't mention any Lib Dem policies ( they're just not popular ) CHECK - not quite sure what they are anyway, unless in involves being LOCAL.
  4. Suggest to Labour voters that they can't win here and suggest you are really going lean left anyway CHECK - no problem here, except the Labour candidate can string a sentence together and made Tubbs look like a twit, but fortunately almost no one goes to these hustings!
  5. Suggest to Conservative voters that they can't win here and that really your almost a Conservative but more LOCAL anyway. CHECK - see my blueish background.
  6. Make wild and unsubstituted smears about your opponents that you know as they spend time answering people will think no smoke without fire CHECK - I had a useful hint about whats been going in the pies of the Labour candidate ....
I remembered the official Cowley street advice for candidates "be wicked, act shamelessly, stir endlessly" and I did my LOCAL best.

Now I'm off to the polling station to vote LOCAL !

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